


I’ll Build You an Empire, I’ll Cry You a River

by silverscreens



Series: Here Till the Bitter End [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Developing Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Naruto-centric - Freeform, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-07-12 08:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15991598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silverscreens/pseuds/silverscreens
Summary: They keep telling you he has blood on his hands like it will make a difference.





	1. eleven, twelve, thirteen

**Author's Note:**

> A companion fic (ish) to Turn Around and Bite Your Tongue, enjoy!

 

 

_“I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, did you?"_

_\- Stephen King, The Body_

 

_********_

You’re eleven and you hate Uchiha Sasuke with a burning passion.

 

He graduates from the academy at the top of your class and a jounin with deep scars says to his colleagues _he’s an Uchiha he’s destined for greatness._

 

You’re eleven and you don’t believe in destiny. 

 

You’re eleven and Uchiha Sasuke is the _worst._

 

You’re eleven and you don’t hear the derision in the jounin’s voice and you don’t stay long enough to hear the rest of the sentence or the callous chuckles it elicited.

 

* * *

 

 

You live with Iruka in his tiny one-bedroom apartment and you’re old enough to know you don’t have a place in konoha.

 

Sasuke has acres of land and rows of houses branded with his name and as you lie awake in Iruka’s tiny living room, you think _it’s not fair._

 

* * *

The girls are awful — they fawn over his sharp eyes and effortless grace, and the boys are even worse because they think they’re being subtle when they sneak admiring glances at his swift movements and easy confidence.

 

The adults are the worst, they look at him expectantly and when Sasuke doesn’t flinch and stares right back approval shines in their eyes.

 

* * *

 

You’re a tiny child with dreams too big for their egos, and Sasuke is just the right type of broken.

 

They take one look at his red eyes and blue blood and just like that he’s _in_.

 

They look at you and they see a privately disgraced hero who chose love over duty so they clench their jaws and narrow their eyes and say to each other _he’s a monster._

 

* * *

 

He had a clan, a family, a mother, a father, which is more than you’ve ever had.

 

He has a brother, a goal, a name, a future, which is more than you’ll ever have.

 

You hate that you’re nothing like Sasuke.

 

_********_

 

You’re twelve and Uchiha Sasuke is your teammate.

 

He’s as cold and haughty you expect, but you’re a volcano and he’s an iceberg and when you’re forced together it’s incongruous and jagged and everyone’s wondering if he’ll freeze you over or if you’ll melt his walls of ice. 

 

(Ice melts from just a touch of warmth, and you can be as unyielding as the sun.)

 

You’re twelve when Sasuke extends a hand and helps you up from the riverbed with a smile on his face.

 

You’re twelve and you suppose Uchiha Sasuke isn’t all that bad.

 

* * *

 

You’re clashing colors and crass clamor, he’s refined elegance and calculated precision.

 

He’s a prodigy in every sense of the word and you’re, as he so aptly puts it, _dead last._

 

Some days you feel like the distance is crushing and you want to scream because he’s standing next to you looking at you talking to you like you’re equals like he’s not lightyears ahead. 

 

You swear that you’ll catch up, even if it takes a lifetime, even if it’s the death of you.

 

* * *

 

The night sky is brimming with stars and new beginnings and when you turn to him and say _we’ll make history_ you’re not entirely surprised that he snorts and snaps back _don’t bother trying, history just repeats itself._

 

You stand up and he looks at you warily, as if he expects you to go on a tirade or storm off into the night, and the look on his face when you tell him with all the confidence in the world _just you wait_ makes everything you’re about to do worth it.

 

And just like that your dream became a goal.

 

You’re twelve and you don’t want to be hokage, you will be.

 

* * *

 

Kiba catches you staring at Sasuke one day and makes a scathing remark about how he’s ensnared you into his web like he did with all of the girls. 

 

Just for that, you think Kiba’s much smarter than people give him credit for.

 

 

* * *

 

When Haku’s needles of death pierce Sasuke’s skin you’re blinded by rage in a way you’ve never been before. 

 

(Years later you look back and so many of your firsts were at the hands of Sasuke — Kakashi and Jiraiya might have been your teachers but Sasuke made you a man in every sense of the word.)

 

 

_********_

 

You’re thirteen and Sasuke leaves and your world comes crashing down.

 


	2. sixteen, seventeen, eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But this time, Sasuke won’t be there to pull you out of the water.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow I can't believe it took me 6 months to finally update this

_At seventeen dreams do satisfy because you think the realities are waiting for you further on.”_

_\- L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Avonlea_

 

_********_

 

You're sixteen and they keep telling you he has blood on his hands like it will make a difference.

You’re sixteen and you force Tenzo and Sai and Kakashi and the Raikage to step aside because Sasuke is _yours_.

You’re sixteen and the girl of your dreams tells you she loves you with tears in her eyes and you want to scream at her because frankly it’s  _insulting_  that she would give up on Sasuke just like that.

You're sixteen and you're a hero in the making and he's the testimony to all of konoha's sins and they will do anything for him to join the rows of headstones in his backyard and you won’t let them.

 

* * *

 

Sakura’s heart was never yours to break but you break it anyway when you push her away and she falls to the snow-covered ground sobbing and pleading.

You’ve always been birds of a feather, perhaps that’s why you liked her so much, and perhaps that's why you tuck a loose strand of her pink hair behind her ear and put your hand on her pretty cheek and swear that you'll make good on your promise to bring Sasuke back.

 

* * *

 

You’re seventeen and Hyuuga Neji is another troubled prodigy from a famed clan and a tiny voice in your head tells you _this is close enough_. His room is modest but reeks of dying traditions and fading riches the way you suppose is befitting for a Hyuuga and it’s so stifling that you suggest meeting at an inn next time.

You take him from behind so all you see is lithe muscles and a flawless expanse of alabaster skin, and you don’t have the decency to feel guilty when disappointment surfaces in empty eyes as you reach for your shirt and don’t kiss him goodbye.

There’s the little signs you’re not quite stupid enough to miss, the closed mouth kisses and lingering touches and pale fingers rubbing circles on your palm, and there’s the times he just scraps subtlety altogether and invites you to Ichiraku and Hyuuga clan ceremonies and summer festivals.

You put on an apologetic smile and offer empty excuses that come as naturally as the ocean’s tides. You never stay the night because the moonlight cascading through his open windows wash away any semblance of pretense and illuminates a face that is beautiful in all the wrong ways and eyes that aren't sharp enough to see right through everything the world has to offer.

The sky is grey with rain when you offhandedly ask him if he ever considered cutting his hair. His blank eyes widen for a second before narrowing and he slaps you hard enough to bruise.

When he comes to his senses, Neji’s gaze is sharp enough to cut glass and for a second, your heart almost flutters.

(A single slap is _just pathetic_ , you think later as Sakura looks at you with unabashed judgement and rubs ointment on the cut on your cheek, Sasuke would have _killed_ you.)

But then again, he’s always been the poor man’s Sasuke, and you don’t settle for second best.

(Years later, he’s just another name that didn’t make it into history, and you spend your nights at red light districts in Iwa and Kiri where you’re just another wealthy stranger with an affinity for raven hair and ivory skin.)

 

* * *

 

The brothel smells like an opium den, and the flickering flames of the sea of red candles don’t create the mystique you’re sure they were intended to.

A blind man could see that you look out of place here — You’re young but you’re not one of the sylphlike youths with powdered cheeks and scarlet lips, you’re wearing a kimono that costs more than your apartment but you’re not one of those god awful men of wealth and status who have wives and sons back home and no hint of remorse in their eyes as they leer hungrily at every passing beauty.

The Daimyo’s son stumbles drunkenly into one of the many rooms with a drink in his hand and a red-haired beauty on his arm. You’re about to follow him before slender fingers form a gentle but firm grip on your wrist. You curse yourself for letting your guard down and reach for your kunai with your other hand but when you turn around it’s not an assassin from mist it’s a boy with dark hair and darker eyes.

He leads you wordlessly up the stairs and into one of the tawdry rooms and suddenly all you know is that the moonlight is too bright and he feels like home. (You like his slim wrists and jutting hipbones but you wish that his skin was alabaster instead of golden because after all these years Sasuke's skin is still as white as a winter storm. But the boy is sharp beauty and sharper eyes and for tonight, that’s enough.)

You leave the money on the bedside table and he doesn’t bother waving goodbye.

The mission goes smoothly because babysitting the Daimyo’s son is way below your pay grade, and you convince yourself and the chunin assigned to your mission report that your encounter with the boy was out of necessity.

A month later, you’re returning from a mission in Iwa when you pass by a building with unmistakable red lights in the outskirts of a small town.

(So you turn around and say to yourself, _hey, this can’t hurt._ )

The night doesn’t end with loaded questions and loaded dice and for you, that’s enough.

 

* * *

 

For a second the distance between you is nothing compared to the vast ocean that lies ahead.

He smiles at you, covered with your blood and bruises and beautiful like the silver moon, and you smile back thinking you would spend the rest of your life like this, bleeding out and coughing up blood and lost in the galaxies in his eyes.

But it’s over before you have the chance to begin, and this time all you can do is watch when Sasuke’s silhouette fades into the woods.

(Sakura cries and pleads with him to take her because she loves him. You smile evenly and pat him on his back a bit too roughly because you love him so much you won’t be able to live with the inevitable rejection.)

So you turn around and tell Hinata _I love you_ and wash away the bitter aftertaste of your lies with tears and alcohol.

 

_********_

 

You’re one month shy of eighteen and you take a sip of the green tea Hinata prepared and say to her, _let’s get married_ , and her pretty face lights up like it’s the only thing she's ever wanted in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, and please leave a comment if you liked it/didn't like it!


End file.
